Thoughts of a Decent Guy who faced Rejection

Rejection. Most fear it. Those who learn to deal with it often become champions. Those who don't will always cower from the hurdle of being judged that stands between them and success. I just got shot by it. By someone who was an angel in my eyes. I dedicated a large part of myself to making her happy, and everytime I see the sunshine in her smile, I think I am halfway there. But she prefers to spend more time with her old flame than me. Says she's more comfortable with him... Says she has no obligation towards me. Those true but painful words simply spelled the R-word. I have yet to pray to that angel for the reasons of her rejection.

My dilemma here lies within the character of her old flame and her incessant pampering towards him. Broke her heart twice or maybe more. For the two times that I know of, once was by cheating, the other I doubt I will ever find out. But now, aside from the intimacy, they are still more or less like a couple. They have dinner together regularly, go for drinks, cooks for him and do all activities that couples do. Me? I wouldn't want to commend on my own character because it'll probably be inaccurate, but what is worth mentioning is that I never two-time girls. Even she mentioned that I am a decent guy. Yet, the most I get from her are what seems to be the scraps of her time and minimal effort to lighten up my days. Perhaps I expect too much, and probably all her expressions of interest and commitment towards me are just illusions.

Here is the point that I am trying to drive home. One of the well known philosophies of achieving success is that when we get rejected, we should learn why it happened, rectify our errors, and then try again. The logic of this situation is that she prefers spending time with her ex, who is a bit of a player, and also, in ways that I don't know, a heartbreaker, as opposed to me, a goodie boy who believes that all girls should be treated with respect and never be tampered with. My error would therefore lie in being a nice and decent person, and in order to achieve success in this situation, I should endeavour to be a more of a player.

A friend said "No, don't change because of her". Another friend said "Go ahead, at least you'll know what it's like!" Now I am in a state of confusion. The only conclusion that I can come to is that the worst part of rejection, especially when it comes to romance, is that it makes us question our character, our competencies, our values, our morals, and everything that makes up our existence in society. Why was I rejected? What is wrong with me? Must I change myself to achieve success? These are the hard questions that I now face. If I ever become a man with little morals, gives little consideration for the feelings of women, and the only concern in my life is the pleasure I get out of it, people who have read this post will understand why.


She told me "Sometimes, you can be a bit aggresive and demanding".
Sorry, I was just trying to defend the meaning of my existence.